|
Sep 23, 2019, 11:41 PM (6 days ago)
|  Reply to all | ||
| ||||
"In our big family we learned from Mom and Dad that we do hard things but we never lose faith."
My earliest memory is the day Kathi was born. It was February 2nd, 1960, I was three years old, and I saw Mom being taken out in a wheelchair from the hospital (Long Beach Memorial I believe). Kathi was cradled in her arms. I'll never forget that day.
"I am in Prather with Danny and Zeke and I have watched them do very hard things but I know through the whispering of the Spirit while pleading on my knees that the birds will sing again for them someday."
Kathi struck me as kind of a puddin' head kid, with that bowl haircut and loyal friendship with Piddie Pie. With her short hair and her roller skates I thought she was a bit of a tomboy. I was four years older than her, which at that age is like a generation, so of course my thoughts were overly paternalistic and no doubt condescending. She was cute as all get out but I wasn't really thinking of her future back then. Most of all, like all young guys, I was caught up in my own stuff.
"They are giants in my eyes, extraordinary father and son (and we just realized) named after great prophets back to back in the in the Old Testament. They are a mighty team."
On that awful day, Vicki sent me an email telling me to call her, something had happened to Kathi's family and she didn't want to talk about it over email. My heart sank. I called her, knowing this was bad news, just wondering how bad it was going to prove to be. Vicki was understandably hysterical and told me the news through her pain and her tears. It felt like a sledgehammer to the chest. I hung up the phone, sat down on my bed, held my head in my hands, and cried like a baby.
When Kathi was young I had no idea she would grow up to be such an extraordinary woman, I won't pretend I did. I loved her, in the way a boy loves his baby sister, protective and all, but kind of an unthinking thing. Now I know better. Her life story is hard to appreciate the way it should be, and I don't think it can all really sink in, to be honest. Kathi writes eloquently about doing hard things, but the truth is we all pray we don't have to face hard things. I would tell you she has a matchless courage and a heart bigger than all outdoors, but you already knew that. Magnifique, if I may put a fine point on it. And sweet and kind as ever through it all. If she has known tragedy she has also known in her loved ones a tenfold joy. Kathi's answer to fate can be seen in her elegant prayer for Danny and Zeke - as real as it is sweet. To which I can only add, Amen...let the birds sing.
"I am the luckiest sister and daughter."
Ahhh, not nearly as lucky as the rest of us, Kathi. I believe I can speak with confidence on behalf of Mom and my siblings when I say that.
All my love,
Bob
"A heart to love, and in that heart, courage, to make love known."
William Shakespeare
- Macbeth
________
Oh my goodness Bob tears are streaming down my face as I try to type this. Your words are so eloquent and so unbelievably kind. If I have ever done anything noteworthy or did hard things it was because I was standing on the shoulders of giants...yours...Dad, Mom, Vicki, Bill, Bob, Jim and Robin. You are a mighty bunch of siblings including Terri and Pam and we all know how blessed we were to have Mom and Dad as our parents...even in the tough times we all hear Dad's voice "You can do it...bite the bullet." And we have all had to, but thank goodness never alone.
Then enters Mom. Who knelt by me as a young child and taught me how to pray. She brought us to church so I could learn about my Savior by going to Sunday School, studying reading nightly a Betsy Clark bible verse book I still have. We were taught mostly by Mom's example of what a "Holy" woman really looks and acts like...especially when it is hard. That is Mom and I see so much of her and Dad's strength in each one of you. If Dad were still here I know he would let you know how very much he loved you even when he was imperfect. I have come to know our Dad on a much deeper level since he has passed. He has been by my side so much of the time when things got really hard. Zeke had to even remind me one day driving back from Big Creek down the mountain on hwy 168 (a road that is so difficult for us) to get back to their house in Prather and said from the back seat, "Grandma excuse me, I want you to know your Dad is here . He is with us. Even if you can't see him, he is here sitting right next to me" as Zeke pointed to the empty seat next to him with the biggest smile on his face he was literally glowing of light. At times the veil from earth life to heaven has been so thin for Zeke and he always shares when His Mom, Reagan or Hunter and that moment his great grandpa are present. He always says even if you can't see them they are there with that same big smile and so much JOY and LIGHT radiating from his face that I can feel in my heart with so much love it is undeniable. Those moments are like being in heaven or feeling what heaven must feel like. Zeke's pure faith that turns into knowledge that our loved ones are not far away and often times right there with us...even if we can't see them. They are there. The faith of that chosen child.
I am so grateful for each one of you that we are always there for each other...and sorry I have needed so much from each of you...especially Vicki lately when I am with her and Mom and they listen and listen sometimes on the weekly when I am in town. I know each of you came to our family to play such a special and unique part that only you can fulfill I see it so clearly as you have all touched my life in so many deep and meaningful ways. We are all so different...yet so connected and so loved by each other. I feel so incredibly blessed.
Thank you to each one of you that carries your own burdens every single day with such grace and love for others and that fighting Spirit to never ever give up that we learned from Mom and Dad and our Savior who is always there. I am learning from all of you how to do hard things. I know many times Vicki has smothered her own grief doing hard things in her life...many without a partner to lean on and carry her, Mom too, and instead them of yelling "Life isn't fair. Life is hard. what's in it for me!" Vicki loves like Mom does and wraps her arms around me and listens to me babble on and on...and cries with me and carries my grief for another day. Just like you all do when the going gets tough.
I hope we can always hold each other close as we are all getting older now and our kids are grown and some having families of their own. We all have each other. We are kind of going back to the beginning and though getting older isn't always awesome, there are good parts too, like the time we can all spend together again...even through email.
Bob, I will cherish what you wrote and on bad days and good it will bring me strength and so much love that pours out through your generous and kind words that I hope to live up to someday. Thank you, thank you with all my heart. You are such a gifted writer and so often you use that gift to bless others, like me today...thank you!
Love you all!
Kathi
Kathi Hiatt
No comments:
Post a Comment